Ten Unofficial Cyclists Rules

Einstein thought of the theory of relativity while riding a bike.

I just hope I won’t crash into someone while riding a bike.

Screen shot 2013-01-25 at 11.49.51 AM

Bicycle Rules in the Netherlands
  1. The rustier the handlebars and the louder the breaks, the better.
  2. Spend more money on a bicycle lock than the bicycle itself. Emotionally prepare yourself to have your bike stolen or lost. Scoffing at the stupidity of losing your own bike? Take a look at a typical bicycle parking lot:parkingbikes
  3. As a bicycle rider, you rule the road. Bicycle to car collisions are uncommon in Holland because strong legislature is in place to protect cyclists rights and safety.
  4. As a pedestrian, cars will stop for you. Bicycles will not.
  5. Know that cobblestone roads are the norm, and are not desirable for cycling comfort. Expect soreness.
  6. Bicycles have one gear settings here, so you will look like a fool going uphill. Struggle with dignity.
  7. The bells sound nice, but have a more startling effect than a car horn. With great power, comes great responsibility.
  8. Always ride on the right side of the road, no sidewalks EVER and do not ride through shopping avenues during the day.
  9. When purchasing a bike, expect to lift and sort through a giant pile of discarded bike parts before finding your perfect match – the effort only makes your purchase of rusty old metal and squeaky tires that much more special!

    Screen shot 2013-01-25 at 5.49.17 PM

    This was in a middle of a courtyard, so we had an audience as we lifted and knocked over and tripped over bicycles.

  10. Leave humiliated and sweaty after your quest for the perfect bicycle. But before you go, make sure to have the seller take a super cheesy touristy photo for you! Because you’ll never see them again. Unless of course, you find 1/4 prices train tickets online.

    bikeseller2

Yes, yes you did.

Now, I just need to learn to balance groceries, a potted plant, a pet puppy and a statue on my bike as I ride full speed downhill, then I’ll be Dutch cyclist caliber. But for now, you can catch me cruising around town carrying a smile, because I LOVE MY BICYCLE.

A WORD OF CAUTION

Nobody wears bicycle helmets here, but accidents do happen – and subsequently hilarious social media moments. Feel better Tayler!

Screen shot 2013-02-03 at 11.38.49 AM

Posted on by Reagan J Payne in Part I

5 Responses to Ten Unofficial Cyclists Rules

  1. Taylor

    This is so great! It sounds like you’re already having a fantastic time! Maybe you should hop a train, plane, automobile (or even ride your bike) to Brussels and we can kick it :)

  2. Reagan J Payne

    I’d love to! Will be making a trip out to Brussels and Brugge sometime very soon, I’ll let you know! I heard you ran into Abby in Brussels?! What a small world!

  3. grandmother

    Reagan how in the world do you find your bicycle in the bike parking lot after you’ve been gone awhile?

  4. Reagan J Payne

    Hello Grandmother! I remember which row I park it in, then count how many paces it takes me to get there from the front. Sometimes I also take a photo to remember! Usually I find it quickly, but I’m sure one day it will get very lost! Glad to see you commenting, thanks for reading! Expect a card from Maastricht in the mail soon :)

  5. Aunt Susan

    For your next research project, find out how many bicycles are retrieved every year from the canals in Amsterdam… you will be staggered to hear.

Add a Comment